MAMTA KULKARNI BECOMING A MAHAMANDALESHWAR OF KINNER AKHADA SETS OFF A FURORE

90's superstar Mamta Kulkarni grabbed the headlines recently when she was announced as president or 'mahamandaleshwar' of the 'Kinner Akhada' in the on going Maha Kumbh mela of Prayagraj. The news set eye balls and gossip mills rolling and sparked a debate of sorts. There are all kinds of reactions - mostly negative and suspicious. While its not really a bad thing if someone chooses to go on a spiritual path, this incident however has had extreme reactions and questions being raised. Why? Mostly because of the actress's past that involved the terror and drugs mafia. She was supposedly involved with the D-gang ( dawood ibrahim/chota rajan ) and her partner a certain Vicky Goswami, a drug lord who faced 12 years in prison. She was also charged and for a long time was absconding and based in Dubai. It is said, when her partner was in jail, she came closer to spirituality and took various sankalp/tap etc. I personally see nothing wrong if her conscience is clear; because, even the sage Valmiki ( who wrote Ramayana ) was a dreaded dacoit once. And any person can repent and turn a new leaf. And, they should be given that chance. In any case there are so many fraud sadhus and babas roaming around already, so, whats another one in a Mamta Kulkarni, unless she proves otherwise. Maybe, her intentions are really geniune; afterall, after being associated with such a large organisation and under constant media scrutiny there'd be little room to do any hanky panky or mischief. There are doubts and concerns that she might be planted by the d-gang itself to cause trouble in the kumbh, hence, the objections ~ coming specially from another wing of the kinner akhada itself - the vaishnav section.

All these controversies sparked my interest in the various akhadas that exist in India. The Kinner Akhada itself ( a relatively new entrant ), wherein Mamta Kulkarni was announced 'mahamandaleshwar' is not recognised by the main akhadas that has existed for centuries, although, it tags along the famous and largest Juna Akhada ( a shaivite sect ), and has grown prominence in recent times. The Kinner Akhada is mainly for the LGBTQ+ community, so, Mamta Kulkarni being a woman and being part of it at its highest position suddenly, does raise questions. The akhada also says, it gives freedom to the members and donot completely cut them off from the material world and attachments - unlike the main akhadas that are very strict; and where one renounces everything including clothes - like a nagas!





What really are the Akhadas - The present generation are ignorant of the contribution by the akhadas over the centuries. If hinduism being the oldest religion on earth has survived till date, its mainly thanks to these akhadas and they are rightfully deservant of credit, if any. Afterall, imagine lakhs of naked nagas smeared in ashes chasing at you with their trishul, spears and swords - any mughal or british would wet their pants. So, inspite of so many foreign invasions, these akhadas with their armies of warrior sadhus has saved the country and hinduism - sanatan dharm from time to time. Their's are not just spiritual centers but also gives intense training in physical and martial arts. They have a stringent and dedicated lifestyle which they devote solely to the religion and country's well being and defence. They are India's secret weapon ;-) The Peshwai's of the various akhadas at the Kumbh Mela's Shahi or Amrit Snan ( bath ) are the main attraction and focal point of the entire gathering. Only after they bath, the others can. When I read the history of the Akhadas and their selfless contribution, my heart swelled with pride. And, I also felt India and our Sanatan is safe, because of them.

So, coming back to Mamta Kulkarni aka Mai Mamta Nand Giri - lets not judge prematurely. If it was some publicity stunt or has ulterior motives let time and her actions be the ultimate judging factor :-)


UPDATE : https://www.news18.com/movies/mamta-kulkarni-laxmi-narayan-tripathi-expelled-by-kinnar-akhara-founder-ws-ab-9209211.html
( Images - Google )

ATUL SUBHASH SUICIDE CASE AND MISUSE OF LAW BY WOMEN - SECTION 498A OF IPC AND HINDU SUCCESSION ACT OF 2005

There are currently two laws which are grossly being violated by women, although, these laws were originally made to protect them. And this, I write being a woman myself. Such violations affect real victims who acually needs the protection.

VIOLATION OF SECTION 498A OF IPC

In marriage, particularly in a country like India, 'domestic violence' is too common. And although, 'dowry' of late has been recognised as a criminal offense, a lot of it still happens behind closed doors. A combination of the two resulted in laws like 498A of IPC being framed, and the enforcement of the same. It was fine till the law was used properly and gave justice to real victims. But things got astray, when certain women found a loophole and began filing false cases. This has resulted in men becoming the victim instead. Recently, we had the Atul Subhash suicide case, where he left an almost hour long video and many written evidences as to the various false cases filed against him by his wife and in-laws and harrassments he faced, which led him to ultimately take his own life. There are many such incidents where this law has been misused by women, alleging false 'dowry and domestic violence' cases to milk out a hefty sum as penatly from the husband. Misuse has been rampant which has led to criticism and many pleas to get this law revoked. Even though Supreme Court has cautioned against any misuse or unnecessary harrassment, the law is still quite loose and the result is Atul Subhash.

Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) of 1860 punishes ( 3yrs imprisonment and a fine) a husband or his relatives for subjecting a woman to cruelty which include physical violence, as well as behavior that causes mental pain or injury. The victims can approach court for protection orders which can prevent the abuser from committing further acts of violence, entering the victim's place of work or residence or engaging in any form of communication or contact with the victim.

VIOLATION OF HINDU SUCCESSION ( AMENDMENT ) ACT, 2005

Its evident, its too common in India ~ the existance of real domestic violence and dowry victims. However, as per the earlier Hindu Succession Act of 1956, the 'real' victims had nowhere to go if they underwent such abuse, as they didn't get a place in parental inheritance - since, sons used to get all the property/assets. Women were regarded as 'paraya dhan-someone else's property'; since after they went to their 'sasural-inlaws' after their 'bidaai-marital farewell', they were cut off completely from their parent's inheritence never to look back. But with growing instances of women deserted by their husbands or divorce and separations, they were stranded. As such the law was ammended to remove gender discrimination so that daughters too got share in their parent's property. It was mainly for such victims. However, there emerged a certain lot of women, who didn't face any problem in their marriage ( thoroughly enjoyed their husband's earnings ) or in-laws, yet, chose to harrass their siblings over property matters just because, they now had right in their parent's property too. There are instances where they get down to bullying even, especially if the family has no sons but only daughters. The married will come and taunt the unmarried and try to make their life hell by trying to chase out or frequently question and mentally harrass as to why the other daughter is living in the house or try to snatch her part of inheritance, and scheme things. They don't contribute or partake in maintainence of the property, but, wouldn't hesitate to harrass the ones who actually live and upkeep the place.

The Hindu Succession (Amendment) Act, Sept9, 2005 was passed to remove gender discrimination in the Hindu Succession Act, 1956: Daughters of coparceners are now coparceners in their own right, with the same rights and liabilities as sons. Section 23 of the 1956 Act was repealed, which prevented female heirs from asking for partition of a dwelling house occupied by a joint family until male heirs chose to divide their shares. Section 24 of the 1956 Act was repealed, which denied widows the right to inherit their husband's property after remarrying.

A bunch of bad apples spoils the whole basket. So, because of certain greedy evil women such laws are being misused so blatantly; and, women as a whole ends up looking bad.

THOSE FASHIONABLE AND PROGRESSIVE GIRLS OF THE NORTHEAST!!

When I had gone to Bombay, in the early 90's, my classmates then used to tease me that I was from an adivasi place of jungles where people did hoo-haa, jingalala wearing tree-leaves, and ran around half-naked ( of course, they were kidding, but, they didn't know much about the place I came from, either ), and I'd be like ~ Oh..hello...Assam is not a junglee place and people are far more advanced in their thoughts and way of living, compared to the ones in Bombay, inspite of the latter being from such a big city. Deja vu moment ~ rest of world thinks of India as a land of jungles, snake-charmers etc; while rest of India esp those Bombaywalas thought northeast to be like that! Eh!!

True, besides that, if you've lived in Bombay over sometime, you'll come across such backward mentality too, that, you'd wonder how come they are a part of such a modern city, in the first place. With time, you'll discover mind-boggling existence of several layers of the society, that makes up the city. And that explains the contrast lifestyles of each, living just next to each other. The tall, posh skyscapers next to the slums and the middle-class housing societies & chawls cramped, in between. Its because, Bombay is largely a migrant city, and all types of people come from different corners of the country, bringing with them their own cultures and traditions, some often skewed ones too. So, you find all types of mentalities here. The ultra modern and also the ultra backward; and everything else, in all shades in between. Each wants to hang on to their own views and beliefs. And in most cases, they'd prefer the others to be like them too. While the ultra rich and modern, do not particularly care and minds their own business; its the other i.e the middle class and lower ones, who, perhaps more due their own inferiority complexes, insecurities or simply wanting to herd together, expect the others to be like them. And if not, gossip begins. Oh she is like that, she is wearing that etc. Well, I guess, this bitchiness goes on in the high-society too, esp in their kitty-parties lol. Anyways, I guess, its far more rampant in the middle and lower ranks of the society.

I lived in one such middle-class housing society for over a decade, and I observed this ( annoying ) behaviour, mainly from my neighbours. Like most of them have been totally obsessed about me, what I wear, where I go, what I do etc. They can't digest the fact that a girl can live independently, away from their native place, without any parents or relatives nearby; and so, are always gossiping behind my back 24x7. This, in such a modern city, right! oh well...it happens, ask me!

When I compare this with my own native place, its such a contrasting situation. In my place, you'll find it common for girls ( like me ), who have gone outside to study and live. Not just in other cities within India, but abroad too. And, the assamese society see it as their pride or achievement. Unlike many other states, they encourage the women to go out, work and live free, and not like places where girls are dictated what to wear or do; like to my horror, happens in a place like Bombay too. Like I said, most of these migrants like sticking to their outdated customs and manners, nevermind, if generations have lived in the city.

When I was strolling in my native city recently. I was like totally impressed ( and awed too ) at the sense of dressing of most of the female folks there. They dressed young, modern and very hep. This fashion you'll only find abroad, or the ultra modern in Bombay wear. If one wears them in the lower ones, they'll be bitched and gossiped about for sure ~ like, kya pehni hai, kuch sharam bhi hai ya nahi.

The malls, and even the flea markets there in Ghy, have these modern pieces and I dread to think, what my neighbours back in my Bombay house would think or comment, if they see me wearing any of these. Even my decent capris and tunics sets their tongues rolling, so forget these hot-pants or micros, minis altogether. So, yes, such mentality, although so backward, inspite of being in the midst of a thriving modern city like Bombay is a reality. And mind you, my house in Bombay is right in the middle of the city. And its not just clothes, your whole lifestyle especially if you are a female is scrutinised and questioned. A far cry from my native city. And they think Guwahati or Assam or rather the NorthEast is backward. What an irony! Lolz.

If one goes to other states in the northeast too, one will come across a far more progressive mindset. Especially, when it comes to women. One will find, many of these societies matriarchal and not patriarchal i.e women folk are regarded superior to men. Often, its the men who goes to live in the women's house after marriage. The property belongs primarily to women, and the women inherits it. There's hardly any instances of dowry or female foeticide; caste divide is unheard of, although, each tribe takes pride in their ethicity. So for women, being born in northeast, is more like a blessing than a curse, as is the case in the rest of the country, unfortunately. If a woman chooses to live alone too or not marry at all, they are not hounded as it would usually happen, yes to my horror, in a place like Bombay too. Remember, the neighbours of mine there, I mentioned? ;-) Sigh...

However, I have not let their mentality affect me. I'm not there to succumb to their backward mentality or culture ( they are all marwadis, marathis, gujus and sindhi/punjabi folks ), I'd rather carry mine proudly, i.e being a fashionable and progressive NorthEasterner/ Assamese with my head held high. Let them remain puzzled, intrigued and shocked about me for the rest of their lives, what say, lol! I seriously don't see them becoming more open-minded in this lifetime atleast! ( hell, I might just wear a micro-mini when I'm there next, and see their reactions, heheh )

THOSE SEVENTY PLUS FOLKS!!!!

As my mother sat in front of the mirror and started preparing to go somewhere, I asked her curiously - where she was off to. It was an unusual time for her to go out ( in the afternoon). "Oh..its my friend"s birthday, today. She is throwing us a party in a restaurant. So, I am off for lunch". With that, she continued putting her kajal and lipstick, before heading off for the rest of the afternoon, leaving me with my eyebrows raised.

Another day, I caught her in the same situation, at the same unusual hour. "Another birthday party?" I asked her.
"No, today we are going for an event. Its a visit to an old-age home, where we are contributing something each, collectively". She replied, a glint in her eyes. I was like...oh yea, sure...

Next time, I was left literally shocked when, I caught her packing her bags. "Now, what's up?' I questioned her. And she excitedly replied to that, albeit a bit casually too, "Oh we friends have planned a trip. We are going to Majuli, and we shall be back in a couple of days."
"But", I began, "what about tickets and all?"
"Oh don't worry about that. Everything has been planned and booked in advance. We simply have to land there. If we have time, we may go few other places too. I'll show you the pictures, once back". Saying that, she continued packing and re-checked her list, if she had left out anything.

I was left gaping, of course. These sudden burst of activity was surely a new thing happening in the house, each passing day. I was glad, but at the same time, quite overwhelmed too. My mother was catching up with her school buddies, and how. Mind you, they are the 70+ folks and they are not connecting though facebook, if you thought that, as many others do these days. They are connecting the old method - going each other's houses, and yea, perhaps little bit of technology too like the phone. But nonetheless, its a very exciting phase in all of these women's lives. All grandmothers now!

Was it always like this? Not at all. In fact, my mother hadn't met any of her school mates for decades, even after her retirement. She had no social life as such. A working woman, all her life was spent going to and fro her office, and bringing her two daughters up. She did go once or twice to her sister's place, but, that was it. Even almost half a decade after her retirement, nothing had changed, except that, she spent more and more time alone in the house.

Then one day, she decided to go to the nearest 'naam-ghar', where the neighbourhood women assembled once a week, to sing bhajans etc. Thats where, she actually started her 2nd beginings in the social sphere . Once she started attending this weekly affair, she started making friends with the other women folk. And thats also where, she bumped into a school friend. And like they say - the rest is history. That chance meeting led her to catch up with her other school buddies, and they all bonded. And how, may I add! Everyone exvhanged numbers. They started meeting in each other's birthdays, having fun ~ threw parties, exchanged gifts. They added more and more events in their schedules - like day-time picnics to nearby places, gathering and contributing to social causes etc, and even adding outstation trips in the itinerary. So, my mother got super busy within the last 3-4 years. In all of these, they never used any medium like facebook, instagram etc. They've been all old-school-methods.

And these interactions are so much more genuine. They all care about one another, visit each other in times of need, without a spectre of envy in each other's mind as it'd have been in the current generation ( nothing like the bitchiness of kitty-parties too ). These friendships are like a breath of fresh air. And if you think, they behave like a bunch of oldies - you are so wrong! Although, they don't use technology as such to remain updated, they are all quite modern in their thoughts and stylish too. You should see how they prepare themselves while going out. I had caught a glimpse once while seeing them off for a particular journey. Like my mother, many of them are widows now, but they don't believe in wearing dull colours ( as people would normally expect them to wear ). More colourful and bright, the better for them. And, I love this attitude.

In their old age, some of them have even departed forever ( onwards to their heavely abode ), but has it halted or dampened the spirits of the rest in any way? No way! They want to enjoy every remaining days of their lives without any negativity, or fear. They infact want to celebrate more parties, more picnics and more outings together. And I hope, they never call it a day.

Big cheers to these 70 plus folks! Their tribe are surely an insipration to the rest of us.

DO NOT WEAR PADDED BRAS DURING SUMMER - HERE'S WHY

Whenever I roam around the market place I often come across these. Even when I'm in a mall or any clothes store, I see a dedicated space or a corner for these. What are these? You might think! Oh well...these are bra shops or outlets, that I"m talking about today. I'm sure every woman spends some time at least in these, during their various shopping outings. Now, what I've been recently noticing is this, that, these shops are increasingly selling padded bras. Initially, their numbers weren't much, but these days, its the padded bras that catch your attention first. These colourful thingies are hung everywhere, and you can't miss spotting them. So, I guess these's a lot of demand for them...because, thats all thats available in some outlets. You'll find these padded options more than the regular ones. So, I think, every other female out there on the street maybe wearing one of them. The padded ones can be of thick or thinner variety, but they are padded nevetheless - which is often a spongy layer in between the outer fabric.

Whats the problem in all of this, you may be wondering. Well, its fine to wear them in winter time. But I have great problem advising anyone to wear them in summer though. If your summers are spent in AC, then too its okay. But if your summers are spent outdoors, in the sun, where you sweat a lot, then, I'll advise to strictly avoid wearing them. Instead, choose the lighter cotton version. We should not wear clothes that doesn't let our skin breath. And these padded bras does exactly that. They block the air flow, trapping the heat and does much damage to your body and sensitive parts, such as the breasts.

Women wear padded bras to enhance their appearance or perhaps to overcome their short comings - such as smaller breasts, but what these bras end up doing is make them much smaller in the end. How? You may be wondering.

Well, in summers we sweat, don't we? While we sweat in lighter fabrics too, it gets multiplied several folds in case of padded bras. Because, the heat generated is far more, and worse added to your existing inner body-heat, which increase during the day. Prolonged wearing of such, in the end may not just reduce the size due to excessive sweating in that area; it can also lead to other complications such as itching, skin problems and more seriously - breast cancer too.

Now, wouldn't that be sad? So, while you wear them thinking they are contributing to your overall appearance, they are slowing but surely causing harm instead. So, avoid wearing padded bras in the summer and do your body a 'cool' favour!

CELEBRATE #PERIODPRIDE WITH THE MAYA APP

..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ MY PERIOD TALE The Dreaded Topic : When I saw the topic, I was actually like - Eew...Do I really have to write about this, what will my readers think, why am I trying to write about my periods, is there a dearth of topics in this world that I now want people to read about my private stuff, afterall, is it even a topic to discuss openly? Well, I'll be honest, there's a certain hesitation when the topic does come up. Its not as if I've never written on it, I did, several times infact, yet, the hesitation, the unease does creep up from time to time. After all, its not that easy is it to shrug away what or how we've been brought up...the traditions the taboos et all that we've been taught since young. Nonetheless, the internet, over the period of time, has indeed played a vital role in opening up the mind a-bit atleast, especially, when we come across other people having gone through exactly what we have. The more we read about their experiences, more sillier such taboos or apprehensions seem. And that's why, here I am trying to write on the topic again, to make others as well as myself, lot more easier and accepting towards this glorious gift we women have been gifted with. The First Discovery : When I was young, I of course, didn't treat 'period' as a gift at all. For me, it was more like a curse. I hated it. The discomfort, the pain, the fear of unwanted-stains, the prohibitions...it was all too much to bear for a tiny teenager like me. I remember, when I first had it, I didn't even know what the hell it was. I saw blood, and I panicked. I tried to check everywhere if I hurt myself. I was really clueless as to where the blood was coming from, with no visible sign of injury, and yes, it was in my panty - so, it felt more weirder. Being somewhat detective-minded ( heavily inspired by the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys/FamousFives ), I tried to solve 'The Mystery of the Mysterious Blood-flow' myself, unsuccessfully though. On the third day, convinced I must have contracted something really deadly or must be dying slowly, I went hesitantly to my mother. With tears flowing down my cheeks, I was like...'Mum..I don't know, what is happening. Blood is coming out of nowhere, everyday, help me. Am I going to die?' My mother immediately realised what was going on, and soon, my whole life changed. But I still didn't know why we had the damned thing in the first place, even though, I was made to follow all those monthly rituals/prohibitions ( viz don't wash hair first 3 days, don't eat sour/tangy stuff eg pickles, lemon etc, don't touch anything religious or anyone too, don't go out to play, PHEW! ). The Marriage : We had a ritual after my first period, that I really found funny. When my elder sister had it, four years before, I actually enjoyed it not understanding a thing, being curious and eager too if I'd have it as well. It was marriage to a banana-tree. Sounds funny, hah, but that was what exactly happened. So, those period days ( my first ), I wasn't even allowed to appear before any male members of the family. On the last day, I was made to bath ( with my mother/sister and other females of the family putting haldi on me ), wear new clothes ( like a bride ) - because, it was my marriage day! Not to a boy, though, but to a banana-tree instead. The priest came, uttered many mantras and made me follow various rituals, put sindoor too ( on behalf of the banana-tree :o ) and finally, I was declared married to the banana-tree, because, I was grown-up now. Later, guest & relatives came and showered me with gifts and I enjoyed that part the most. Of course, I still didn't know what was going on...I mean, after being treated like an untouchable, I was suddenly being celebrated too. However, the other periods that followed were without the marriage ritual or gift's, sigh! The Piercing Pain & The Annoying Stains : Needless to say, these two essentially made my life ( those 5 days ) a nightmare. The pain ( all around my lower waist and back of thighs ) would come either on the 2nd or 4th day, and it would be excruciating. After suffering for months on end, I somehow got the solution to it when accidentally I dozed off one day, after twisting and turning uncomfortably in my bed for hours. That tiny nap was hardly for ten minutes or so, but it did the trick. So, henceforth, whenever I started getting any signs of the pain, I'd rush to bed and force myself to sleep. If sleep came, I was lucky; and if it didn't....well, the helpless twisting and turning would continue. However, I had no such trick with the stains. Initially, we were made to use clothes and I had a harrowing time with it - what with the washing, the smell, the heaviness to carry it around. Sanitary pads finally came to the rescue, phew! The Enlightenment : It was only in my late-teens that I finally got a faint idea of what was going on. Friends whispering and gossiping around, the blush-blush during biology classes, the boy-girl analysis, and finally the orientation-course our school had for the senior students where this subject was subtly covered. It has although taken me decades to come in terms with the reality of it all. I still hate it, but I am able to tolerate it more :-) not like those by-gone days, when I almost wished I was a boy instead :| The Period : What is it after all? Now, that I finally had the 'gyaan' I could merrily share the knowledge with those who are still clueless and trying to pull their hairs out, trying to figure it out, like I used to once-uppa-time. Well, all females have ovaries in their bodies that have eggs in them. After we hit puberty, every month, one of the eggs come down the fallopian tube to meet the sperm ( gifted by the male - you know how. And, even if you don't-know-how, we'll discuss that in another post ). So, if it meets the sperm, baby happens. But in absence of sperm, the egg that waits has built a wall of-blood ( and proteins/ vitamins etc, while preparing for the baby ) around the uterus, finally flushes itself out. And that my friend, is the 'period' ( since it occurs after a gap of few weeks consistently ). Having period from puberty till menopause-time, means you are healthy, and there's nothing to worry about. But absence or excess of it may be a problem. The Acceptance : Period has an important role to play ~ in the bigger scheme of things. We women, are gifted with this unique gift of being able to give birth, which is actually so empowering. Every female species ( esp in mammals ) have this phase ( although, they may be slightly different from species to species ), and its how nature works, and cycle & circle of life progresses. The fact that God has given us females, such a powerful role to play in taking the universe forward, it somewhat relaxes my mind - that, hey, its not such a bad thing after all. Sure, it is uncomfortable, but for the role it plays, it is very well worth it. And when I try to teach my mind that way, periods become so much tolerable that I actually take #periodpride in it! True, there's nothing gross about periods. Its the most empowering and creative privilege ever gifted to women. Value it. Rejoice it :-) ..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸

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❤❀❤This blogathon is supported by the Maya App, used by 6.5 million women worldwide to take charge of their periods and health.
More about the Maya App : The Maya App helps women track their cycles, related symptoms, weight, temperature and other vital health parameters. The app relies on the user’s historical data to give insights like the predicted start date of the next cycle, possible symptoms one might experience, predictions about fertility and also educates the user with relevant tips. Women use the Maya App to :
Track their health (menstrual health being a leading indicator of a woman’s overall health)
Improve accuracy of contraception and conception

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NIHAR NATURALS I AM CAPABLE!

..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ Being a woman is not easy. I don't know about the rest of the world, although, I am aware of rampant prejudices against the female species in almost all countries, across all religions! I can though certainly say for sure that, in India, such prejudices, judgements etc have always existed and how. Every moment in a women's life is judged ~ her looks, her manners, her behavior and over all just the very fact that, she is a woman – right from the very beginning. Remember the frown, that many relatives gasp when they come to know it’s a new-born girl-child esp in certain parts of northern India? Some go on to strangle it too, female foeticide as it is widely known. And believe it or not - most of the times such criticisms or gory acts are committed by the fellow women themselves. Yes, that's the sad truth. And what more shockingly some of them being their own family members! If only, they remembered for a second, that they are women too! Needless to say, such women only encourage the patriarchy mind-set that exists in the society, which treats women as second class citizens. After all, a woman is the one who gives the first lessons to her child ( be it a boy or girl ), and has maximum impact on their upbringing. What is put in a child's mind at that age, stays forever and he/she views the world as such. To get a clearer picture, try catching some current news wherein there's an on-going struggle to let women inside some religious places, where their entries are banned. This happens in India, where women are worshipped as Lakshmi, Durga, Saraswati etc. And women themselves are opposing other women's entry, imagine that! Irony huh! Talking about my own experiences here, on being judged or criticised; I have faced criticisms too, if not at such obscene lengths, but faced nonetheless. I remember, how my entire teenage life was spent being judged by my elder sister. Phew, not exactly a pleasant situation to be in when your own sister mocks your appearance or you, as a whole, in front of her friends or in general every living day. Her only obsession seemed at that time was to pull me down, criticise or judge me as though I had no right to exist in this world. Contrary to how I look or the way I currently am - outspoken and quite bold-in-your-face type; I remember in my school days I was exactly the opposite. I was thin, lanky and a big meek introvert. This use to make me the butt of my sister's jokes/jibes or taunts. She was the more popular one ( or maybe she thought she was - a superiority complex trip ). She’d be embarrassed to be seen with me, and would point-blank refuse to take me along to her friend's birthday parties or outings. I used to think, I was the only one in this whole wide world who lived such a miserable life. My self-esteem would plunge deeper than the ocean’s depths. As time passed though, I found more and more such instances that existed, in my friend-circle and beyond. It was kind of toxic sibling rivalry that was quite common. Somehow, I became little less traumatized after that; and then, came a point where I didn't give a damn any more. I was content and proud the way I was. I could give back as good as I got, or maybe, even better. I loved the creativity that oozed out of me. And believe me, when you don’t let other’s crappy talks affect you however close they may be to you, you can truly say #IAmCapable ~ of doing anything. Nothing can stop you. ..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸

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WHY WOMEN SHOULD SPEAK AGAINST SEXUAL VIOLENCE

..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ Recently, I was going through an article that mentioned sexual violence is not just limited to physical harm, but it also includes - stalking, harassment, voyeurism etc, and my mind immediately flew back to the time when I was just a teenager. The amendments to the law were apparently made in the year 2013, and I couldn’t help but wish it was done much earlier. As a school-going teenager, I faced lots of harassments like stalking and eve-teasing incidents, which used to scare the hell out of me. They were mostly done by the neighbourhood boys, who had made my movement in the locality nearly impossible. Passing obscene and lewd comments, following me around etc, were a daily occurrence. I didn’t know much about the law or how to stop these unwanted attention. Of course, I told my parents; but, even they didn’t know if such complaints would be handled by the police if made; besides, those hooligans were mostly teenagers too ( just 2-3 years older than me ). As such, my entire high-school days I had to bear it all; no matter how uncomfortable it made me or how disgusted I felt. Sure, they did not do me any physical harm, but I feel, such people only grow up to be criminals and their crimes grow bigger, if not stopped early on. With the changes in the law, I breathed a sigh of relief; because, now, even such acts are considered punishable offence. So, anyone who faces similar situations ( as those mentioned ) can report and hope for justice. And let me say it here, it doesn’t happen only when we are young. Such incidents happen to older women too, and its a widespread problem. We i.e all the women-folk need to know our rights. We need to know that there is help out there; we only have to report it. Education is the key to that awareness. It is mandatory for police - in any station, and not necessarily the nearest, to file an FIR as soon as a complaint is made. The police in question, infact, may be punished if he refuses to take the complaint. It is important to report such violence because ~ 1 – More we report, more aware people become of the problems that glaringly exist, and it doesn’t remained hush-hushed or shoved under the carpet forever. 2 – More people become aware, lesser are the chances of the crime existing. Yes, its true! Awareness can infact lead to its overall reduction. 3 – When you #KnowYourRights, you are more confident in taking precautions for yourselves, as well as others around you. ..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ Theme: 3 reasons why you think it is important to encourage reporting sexual violence.

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AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL #KNOWYOURRIGHTS AND FIGHT AGAINST SEXUAL VIOLENCE

..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ I spend a lot of time browsing trending twitter hashtags. It is like a 'live' hot-line of sorts, connecting me to all the latest updates around the world; be it any topic. At times, when a subject interests me, I plunge in deep; right into the hot debates/ discussions. It’s very mentally stimulating to say the least, and I absolutely love it. So, as usual, the other day, I was going through the trending topics, when a very popular name started trending. It was that of a female broadcast journalist ( now an editor in a news channel ). She is mostly known for reporting live from war-zones, considered most dangerous places on earth. I’ve since admired her for her immense guts. She is no doubt brave, and is quite intimidating too – the fierce-feminist type. However, when I checked the hashtag, I was in for a shock. The journalist mentioned, had recently written a book ( autobiographical ), wherein, she has confessed that she was sexually molested when she was very young; and how violated she had always felt whenever she remembered that incident, even after decades since that episode happened. More shocking was, the perpetrator being a close relative of hers. With disbelief, I read certain stanzas from her book that was published in an online news-portal. It described the mental trauma she had undergone. I had never imagined such an incident would’ve ever happened to such a powerful-looking lady. While reading, I realized, behind that façade of bravery on the outside, there was vulnerability too. It changed my entire perspective of that journalist big time. More so, when in that same hashtag, I saw numerous trolls making snide remarks alleging that she might have faked-up the incident. Of course, she dealt with them sternly. But, it made me wonder, how ruthless people can get. Here was a woman, daring to tell her story out in the public; and some people were not just not believing it, but alleging that it could be false too. If a well-known journalist faces this kind of public reaction, imagine the plight of some unknown person who might have endured same trauma or worse. The female, after the molestation happened, had decided to forget that horrible incident altogether instead of coming out in the open and reporting it. I can understand the situation back in the nineties or before, when that incident occurred – women hardly knew of their legal rights. That journalist, of course came to know of them much later, but was hesitant still, until she finally wrote the book. So, if an educated woman like her was hesitant to even talk about it for decades, one can only imagine what other women goes through. However, her finally talking about the incident has made us so much aware of one fact now. That even the affluent may have faced such situations, and not just the poor of the society. And this really helps. My 3 reasons why reporting sexual violence is IMPORTANT – 1 – It really helps spread awareness. Like the lady I mentioned; her revealing of the horrible torture she went through, makes us aware that such incidences can occur in any levels of the society. 2 – When the ratio changes from 1 in 100 women reporting, to 100 in 100 reporting such crimes, criminals won’t go scot-free like they currently are. 3 – When you #KnowYourRights, you automatically have a safety net. In 2013, with new changes in the law; in sexual violence - even stalking, sexual harassment and voyeurism etc, are considered punishable offence and not just physical harm. ..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ Theme: 3 reasons why you think it is important to encourage reporting sexual violence.

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❤❀❤( Images - ) Amnesty International has launched the #KnowYourRights campaign, which is a people’s rights educational program aimed at informing people of their basic rights via free educational modules on digital and physical media because knowing one’s rights gives one the confidence to take action. Tell us why you think survivors of sexual violence should come forward to report the crime and not brush it under the carpet.Stay Connected & Follow my Updates on the blog's GFC | GOOGLE+ | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | NETWORKEDBLOGS

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WHY WOMEN ARENT ALLOWED INSIDE CERTAIN HOLY PLACES? WTF!

As the #Sabarimala and Shani Shingnapur controversy heats up, where women ( young and all in case of the latter 5-50 ) are not allowed to enter/touch the sanctum sanctorum of the temple, because they are supposedly 'impure' compared to men, as they have menstruation ( or bad luck will befall ); I was reminded of this article I wrote couple of months ago.

I was reading this particular news article today; wherein it reported, that, even the HC refuses to take a stand on the issue of entry into the Haji Ali dargah, that is strictly barred for women, and I shrugged to myself. We all know how restricted the muslim society is especially for its women, so it didn't surprise me much. Although, I have been lucky enough to have visited the restricted premises, much before it became a stricter norm. And why just muslim, we see discrimination in Christianity too; although, its not as much in religious places as it is visible in the authorities-build up - we've never seen a female Pope now, have we?

Anyway, before we criticise the other communities for being so discriminatory to the women-folk, lets take a look into our own first, sticking strictly to the religious places ( as there's countless discriminations in almost every sphere of life/society ). Recently, I was in Trimbakeshwar, near Nashik ( for Kumbh Mela'15 ), and to my surprise I learnt, entry into the main 'garbh-griha' as it is called, of the main temple is totally banned for women. Whoa...I had thought. Not just that, there's some more smaller temples up the Brahmagiri hills, behind the Trimbakeshwar temple, that is also off-limits for women. It does make me sit and think about the patriarchal society we live in, that is still so much rooted in the past. Some women activists had once tried to enter the Trimbak temple forcibly, but was stopped and didn't succeed much. I wonder, why it got to that in the first place :o

I do understand, in the distant past, due to the fabric our society was built upon, men always got the advantages and privileges compared to women, but in this day and age, shouldn't it be changing? Not that I see.

I haven't researched about other places much, but I'm sure similar restricted zones for women, in holy places, may surely be existing there as well. It saddens me, how women are treated by the men-folk almost like untouchables; and truth be told, I think, it is much due to the fault of the women themselves. Had they not taught a child 'the sense equality', right from its birth ( since a mother - a female, is the one who gives birth and is closest to a child ), such discrimination wouldn't have taken such deep roots, that are practically unremovable now. May better sense prevail for future generations.

PS: My trip to the Nashik Kumbh Mela'15 was more for the spectacle that it is, rather than any religious purpose. FYI, I'm quite Agnostic in beliefs. Read my other blog, for my entire Kumbh experience.


UPDATE - So, since I la
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MOMS FOR A BETTER WORLD

¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ The house I currently live in, I had moved in almost a decade back. Everything has been fine except for one thing. Everyone has been good except for one being. Everyone is cultured and well-behaved except for one individual. There is an extremely intrusive, extremely loud and extremely abusive person living in my floor. Unfortunately, she is a woman. Her behaviour is like that of the typical 'vamps' we see in hindi movies - the 'Manorama' types. She'll spread all kinds of nasty gossips about one another ( in the neighbourhood ), and instigate people against each other. Not to mention, use foul words as well, and that too in front of her adopted daughter; since the latter was a baby. As a result, the young child has grown up hearing dirtiest of abuses. Now this woman is not much educated, so, her thinking is that of a frog in a well. She do not understand that a woman can choose to live independently ( like me ). If I'm not married, I must be of loose character or there is something wrong with me - that's her mentality. A girl simply can't or has no right to live her life in her own terms, no matter even if they are earning on their own - so, she has been gossiping about me to the neighbours for ages now. I always wondered, why the other neighbours never discouraged this woman from speaking filth about others. It was then, another neighbour, who happens to be a single mother, informed me that the building people tolerated this woman's nuisance because she was a widow. I felt this reasoning a bit odd, because, her behaviour certainly didn't deserve sympathy at all. She was like a big bully of the entire building, whom nobody wanted to tackle or face. Due to her 24x7 negativity blabbers about me, I decided one day enough is enough. I discussed with the other neighbour ( single mom ), but she advised me to let it go instead. I asked why to let it go. This vampish woman was making everyone's lives hell with negativity, she needed to be taught a firm lesson. Moreover, her conduct was spoiling not just the environment, but teaching dirty abuses to other kids in the building too. I asked this young mother if she was okay with her kids growing up in a negative atmosphere. She shook her head, though, was reluctant to take any steps forward and do anything about it. However, I was determined that it just had to stop. I had tolerated for almost a decade. But not anymore. So, one day after this woman spewed her usual venom, I headed straight to the police station to file a complaint. I requested the police to give her a stern warning, not to spread this kind of nuisance, as everyone wanted to live in peace and a healthy environment. The police came and the whole building was shocked at my action - of actually filing a complaint. That evening, the other neighbour ( single mother ), came to my door and said she was with me too. I was bit surprised that she decided to support me atlast. She told me, she agreed with my views and inwardly many were fed-up with the bullish-type behaviour of that woman, including her. But it was high time to stand up for what is right, and make the housing society a more peaceful and better place, and not let this woman get away spreading filth about others anymore, round-the-clock. Her support was indeed a welcome one, because, most neighbours didn't want to get involved in what had become a police complaint. They wanted to keep a distance. But this lady, is standing by me today, because she has a daughter too. She doesn't want her kid to learn all those dirty things, this bully-of-a-woman's adopted daughter grew up learning. And being a divorcee, she herself has faced this nasty woman's stingy remarks on her personal life. While this incident may not impact the wider world as such, but still I feel, this woman ( single mom ) who took the courage to speak up is indeed a mom for a better world. With all her support and also the recent legal step-ins, the building is lot quieter and bickerings reduced. This story is essentially of two mothers - one a foster mother, who was in the wrong, and the other a single mother, who decided alas to correct her, by supporting my stance and thus, making a considerable difference. UPDATE : Apparently old habits die hard, so had to file another complaint ( within 2 months ) as her nuisance is still continuing. Will post more on it, stay tuned. ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸

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Becoming a mother changes your entire world view for the better. You start caring more, loving more and worrying more. You also start saying stuff like, ‘You will understand this when you become a mother’. #MomsForABetterWorld is a project which also features a crowd-sourced video of moms giving their special messages for their children to go forth and make this world a beautiful place.Stay Connected & Follow my Updates on the blog's GFC | GOOGLE+ | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | NETWORKEDBLOGS

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SELF DEFENCE FOR WOMEN

During my 7th std in school, we were informed that Tae Kwon Do was going to be introduced. I wasn't aware about things like rape, molestation etc; though, I knew it was for self-defense. Being very athletic those days, I immediately enrolled, without even asking anyone in my family ( though, they gave a stunned approval later on ). A fairly modern 20th century ( 1940/50's ) sport, the history of this particular martial art is rather interesting, as it is a combination of few other ancient martial arts ( korean+chinese etc ) ~ with emphasis on 'kicks'. We were given the special White dress ( sewn after taking our measurements ), and our initial belt was 'yellow' for beginners - ( it is then followed by blue/green/brown/red etc and finally 'black' with 12 layers to it, to ultimately become the 'grand-master' ). I took great interest in the art, and learnt it seriously for more than 3 years. We learnt different chops, punches and kicks - oh, there are so many of them; and the sounds we had to make with each of them gave more power to those ~ making it very effective. And with practice, it got only better. During holidays, I also used to go to their special sessions, besides the usual ones in school. However, during my 10th, due to approaching SSC, I stopped going for classes and thereafter in college, my practice too completely stopped. The only thing that remained, was a memory that I had learnt this wonderful art. Moreover, that time I had shifted to Bombay as well, where I got completely spoilt. I became a foodie big-time and started resembling the entire opposite of an athlete, I once was. The memories of those techniques too faded slowly. ( check - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taekwondo )

I faced several instances of unwanted touching/groping etc in the crowded Bombay's trains/buses ( something I guess, majority of women-folk goes through daily ), however, whatever self-defense I had learnt never really come promptly, as I hardly took the trouble to remember them, all these years. Although, I could recall a few faintly, yet, they wouldn't come as naturally as they used to once.

During the recently held International Women's Week #Unconference, we had a special work-shop on Self-Defense for Women, and whatever I had long forgotten came flooding back. The workshop was not tae-kwondo related, but, martial arts in general ( esp karate ). Still, I couldn't help but remember my own training years in school, decades ago. I enjoyed the work-shop immensely :-)

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After introduction of Sanjay ( Black Belt ) and his group ( by Reeti, the event organizer ), they immediately got into action. Yes, inside the Lounge itself. Whoah!


#WomensWeekUnconference Martial Arts Work-shop @D'Bell Lounge & Cafe
So, Sanjay started off by asking whats the strongest part of our body. Its the elbows; the base and sides of palm when hardened, knees ( though, it can be at times a weak spot too, if kicked on it from sides/back ) etc. Easiest technique to use the 'elbow' is - practice as though you are brushing your hair up with your fingers, notice how the elbow juts up? It can be used to attack attacker in front of you, and your elbow will hit his chin. Same way, try opening drawers - notice how the elbow goes backwards with force? It can be used to attack an attacker who's behind. And the weakest part of the body is generally between the knees ( you-know-what to hit ).

Also when attacked, one needs to go on an aggressive attacking-mode rather than a defensive back out; though, one should always try to run from the situation no matter what. Also, use your 'voice' as loudly as possible, not just to scare the attacker, but also to attract any passer-by's attention for help. Even sharp everyday objects like pens, ladies' tweezers, nail-filer/cutter etc can be handy tools in case of an attack, if you don't have a knife. If you don't have a pepper-spray available, you can always use a deodorant for the same thing; spray it into the eyes so that they loose eye-sight for a few minutes. ( You can make pepper-spray right at home; simply mix vinegar with chilly+pepper and little water ~ put in a small spray bottle ).


Yes, the fun part of the work-shop was Sanjay's very easy demeanor; cracking a few jokes here and there while teaching the very serious stuff too, as well as getting the audience involved in it totally. He made everyone stand up and go on an attack-mode with his own group members. The audience did a fairly good job too. The thick safety-padding & helmets was what saved those instructors that day ;-)

Lot of these techniques rely on element of surprise as much as physical aspects. Attackers don't expect resistance. If attacker grabs your neck, reach out and hit his Adam's apple; it will immobilize him. Or simply clap both his ears hard, with both your hands at once. He wouldn't know what hit him. If you're on your back and attacker approaches, use legs to kick out. Stamp both his legs hard with your heels.


The girl demonstrators of the self-defense workshop ( with some of them being national champions too ), showed us the various techniques. Being fearless, aggressive and tough is the overall key. A human's body is the most deadliest weapon, says Sanjay. Don't fret or worry if you're going to hurt or injure him, while attacking. If you find no escape at all ( best option being running as fast as you can ), then go aggressive, else, remember he might hurt you instead.


While kicking, target the weak & most delicate part of men ( you-know-what ), if you find yourself on the floor. How to resist & break free of 3 attackers ( below pic ).



If someone is holding you from behind, grab his little finger and twist is backwards as hard as you can; try hitting him in his stomach or the delicate groin area with your elbows, or use your head backwards hitting his face/chin or nose. Also try kicking sides of the knees. It is weak and he'll loose balance instantly.


Every girl should know these techniques. Infact, I'm planning to practice my tae-kwon-do all over again. The work-shop was indeed a valuable addition to the #WomensWeekUnconference event. It made me recollect my own training days ~ such a nostalgia! Call Sanjay at 9769950284 for self-defense workshops.

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THE GODDESS?

Theme for Mar 13, 2015 'WOW' : ‘The Goddess'. This week’s WOW prompt is – ‘The Goddess’.



Why a woman needs to be a Devi, Sati-Savitri or a Goddess?
Does in society, as a human-being, she has no place?
What's this hypocrisy of raising her in a pedestal so high?
Yet, in reality she is so often raped or vilified!
Why only women needs to be the holder of virtue,
O' Men, can't she be a normal human, like you?

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"This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda" | ( Image Courtesy : Google )Stay Connected & Follow my Updates on the blog's GFC | GOOGLE+ | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | NETWORKEDBLOGS

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