'Death news' generally shouldn't be shocking. There's always someone or the other dying every other day. After all, we all are going to die someday too, aren't we? It is the only 'real' truth that exists in this lifetime of ours. And that has been the reality since life existed on this planet. Only, when it occurs suddenly, and at a young age, under mysterious circumstances - with no proper explanations, does it become shocking ~ as it did in this case. The shock gets doubled, considering certain 'coincidences' that happened within the few days of his death, with me.

I'm in no way connected to Gaurav Tiwari at all. But, like him, I am a big time Paranormal enthusiast too. But my similarities with him end right there, because, there have been many things I didn't like about how GT and his team did their investigations. I saw couple of them on Youtube, and thought them to be a complete rip-off of Ghost Hunters ( an international paranormal show ~ the whole format ), and most explanations copied from Ghost Adventures ( another popular international paranormal show ). Those who watch these two shows will easily make out if something is copied from them.
Secondly, I saw MTV's Girl's Night Out episodes and found them totally 'faked' at many ( all ) places. With someone claiming to be an authentic investigator, I didn't expect him to go along with the fakeness of it all. Thirdly, the Grip-India Facebook page had once organised a spook contest, wherein, they asked to send in real-life spook stories, of which they'd make a show on Sony TV ( I presume, it was Bhoot Aya or Fear Files, whichever was on Sony ). Someone from their team contacted me, saying they'd take my story and also a 'byte' regarding the incident I sent; and after I agreed to their proposal and granted them 'permission' to use it, I never heard from them again, although, that person asked me to become the group's member as paranormal investigator ( for a hefty fee too ), which I remember was also part of the prize. Phew! I didn't see the serial, so don't know if they adapted my story, but I was by then, bit disinterested in their style of working ( read un-professionalism ), so never really followed their updates. They also seemed too be to eager to 'sell' memberships, which was a put-off. I also, didn't like the 'reverend' title GT carried in his name, like a show-off thingy, where real exorcists/ministers too didn't really use them.

Anyway, so, coming back to the present, to talk about the freaky coincidences ~ just couple days back - I guess, last week of June or was it 1st week of July itself, I saw Gaurav Tiwari's twitter profile curiously popping up in my 'who to follow' section. It was rather strange, because, it was the first time I saw it. I remember, hovering my mouse over the profile, and it showed 'verified' and that too with just 1500-2k or so followers. I was like, wah, with only so little followers, one can get their twitter verified. But then, he has appeared in many Indian TV channels, so, maybe it was possible with the right contacts. Anyways, 1-2 days he kept appearing and then I forgot all about it.

I came to know of his death only today ( i.e 11th ) - that he died on 7th July. That reminds me so much of 3rd July, a Sunday, when I almost met with my own death ( had a near-miraculous escape ). I had recently shifted to far outskirts of Bombay - like, really really far, near the mountains ( for health reasons and to get fresh air ). Tired of living in tall suffocating buildings ( my earlier flat was on 4th floor ), I chose to purchase a tin-roofed house this time - with an obvious ground floor. But, what I didn't know was that tin roofs are not really made of tin, but some kind of asbestos cement instead, that really becomes weak during monsoon time ( due to the rains ). So, my new roof was leaking and naturally, I thought of the only option to protect it ~ and that was to cover it with plastic sheets. And, as I was nearly done with the job, next thing I knew was, I had crashed through the roof itself. The roof gave away as though made of mud. I clung to the remaining broken part for my dear life, struggling to get up. With gravity pulling me further down, and me not really the slim-trim kinda, it was really difficult to pull myself up. I had fallen on my back, with more than half my body hanging below, and just my left arm clinging on to the remaining part of the roof. Had it given away too, I'd have come crashing down and broken my neck on the hard floor-tiles below. Oh...what a horrible situation it was. With me not able to climb up, one part of my mind told me 2-3 times to just give up. 'You'll only fall,' it said. Another part of my mind kept urging me not to give up, not unless that roof gave up on its own atleast. 'You'll die if you give up,' it said. So, atlast, somehow the second part of my mind won - and so, I'm alive. All my work that day naturally, got ruined; which however, a supervisor in that locality helped me out with later.

Being finicky however, and still not satisfied with the job, few days later, I wanted to go up myself again, to fix it. It must have been the 7th. That particular supervisor saw me take the ladder that morning, and tried to stop me. I was bit scared myself too, and it had rained all the last few days - so, alas, I decided to wait till monsoon got over. Who knows, what would've happened that day, as the roof was still weak with all the heavy down-pour.

Now, to think, GT died that day around that time. Its freaky, isn't it? I don't know the cause of his death, but as per reports, his family said that he told his wife one month ago, that some 'negative force' was out to get him and that he was unable to stop it. And that, there was a thin black line ( mark ) around his neck, when they found the body. Being a paranormal researcher myself ( albeit, not professional ), and having loads of paranormal experiences myself, I think I can understand what it could be ( if his death was indeed due to negative forces as his father mentioned ). More on that in another post....( it can be very scary if it is what I think it is )
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Coming from a small city ( guwahati ) myself, I can pretty much understand how Bollywood allures our minds since young, and beckons at us. Most of us ( in smaller towns and cities ), grow up hoping to become a hero or heroine of the silver screen some day, or be connected to Bollywood somehow. No wonder, scores of wannabes leave their homes and travel all the way to Bombay to fulfil their dreams. Bombay, hence, rightly called ~ the city of dreams ( maya-nagri ). When opportunity presented itself to me, I too packed my bags and baggages to come and live in this dream city. Only, in my case, I didn’t come outright to join Bollywood. My father was transferred to this city and I could hardly let this big opportunity go by.

I left my college in my home-town ( after my 11th ), and pursued my studies here. I was inclined to music and hoped someday my that particular dream would get fulfilled. But, I wasn’t overtly aggressive about achieving it. I was also told by many that I could join films or modelling, as I had the looks, but I wasn’t interested in all of that either. As my stay in Bombay, was not really like all others who leave their homes in pursuit of Bollywood. And initially though, I must admit, I was undoubtedly attracted to the glamour attached to the city. However, I grew up more like a Bombai-kaar gradually. After giving my 12th exams, then joining SNDT university, my life was like any other ordinary college student. As such, I could gradually see the fa├žade behind the over-hyped glamour too. And although, I loved the city tremendously, I didn’t have any obsession about being in Bollywood. Hence, though I did eventually complete my dream to make a music album ( after almost 2 decades of living in the city ), I was quite laid back about it, and un-ambitious to make a career out of it. Perhaps, that’s why my life is very different than a Kangana Ranaut, although, there are certain similarities too ( any guesses which ;-).

That brings me to the main topic of this post. Yea..yea...the topic was about Kangana and not me, lol.

So, we all know what's been going on since past few months with regards to the Hrithik and Kangana story. And to be frank, initially, I was more inclined to support her; because, I too know, from experience, how guys sometimes do all the pursuing at first, and then suddenly switch gears, completely denying the relationship. It can really hurt. And yes, many guys are that callous. I know a few myself. So, I was definitely on Kangana's side. Hrithik was all wrong, according to me. It was until, the police took a statement from her, wherein she allegedly said that her iphone fell in water, and so she threw it away. Come on, Kangana. Like really? I know you are rich and can buy hundreds of iphones, but that was the most silliest excuse I've ever heard. Then, of course, came the Adhayen Suman revelations and the world was shell-shocked.

Many has said that Adhyayen has done this for publicity. But somehow, I don't buy it. His revelations has let me think of the actress's life and her link-ups. And she had quite a few of them, most to married men too. She said during her National Award interview, that she was proud, she made it completely on her own. To that, I can't help but think of her affair with Aditya Pancholi, a man double her age, at the beginning of her career. No doubts, he helped her get contacts in the industry then. He apparently had financially helped her buy a house too, and was also footing her sister's acid-attack hospital bills ( as claimed by him, a fact, that Kangana didn't deny either ). The affair ( rumored abusive ) went wrong; but it happened, and neither party denied it too. Kangana, of course, left him in the end. But this relationship made me wonder, why she had to sleep with a married man in the first place? Also one, who was accused of having raped Pooja Bedi's maid at one point. Only thing I can understand from all of this is, Kangana simply used the man to gain a foothold in the industry ~ to survive. And if a girl can do this, she can do anything to get ahead.

Next, soon after, she had the Adhyayen romance episode. Of course, we know all the details now, but that time, we see that soon after her break-up with Adhyayen, she had another affair with Ajay Devgan ( a married man again ). It is rumoured, the affair was a strictly no-strings-attached one ( although, he recommended her in many of his films ). Ajay, however, dumped her when she became emotional, and cut-off all ties. Emotional??? Well, I'm sure Ajay Devgan too must be surely having some really interesting revelations to make. It'll make the curious case of Kangana so much clearer, what say? Or maybe the guy Nicholas, she had next.

Moving on to the 3rd married man - Hrithik. According to Adhyayen, she was eyeing him, even when she was with the former. That says a lot about the woman. Being attractive, I'm sure Hrithik must've fallen for her too. Or maybe NOT, as perhaps he ( later ) decided. But, whatever the case might be, after watching her two interviews ( in IndiaToday and NDTV ), I must say, she hasn't convinced me that she is innocent. That said, seeing her life, her alleged link-ups - I don't envy her. Rather, I pity her ~ that for success, one makes such compromises. There must be so many like her, who made similar journeys, but couldn't make it big, like she did. Her films of course, are a delight to watch. No wonder, she has so many fans and is rightly the highest paid actress. Its just that, I wish, she really had made it own her own without having to sleep around. Men too have numerous affairs. But, being a female, I expected more respectability.

Oh, the curious case of Kangana Ranaut stays 'curious'. She is proud to be a psychopath, whore and witch. At least, she is honest about that - although, in a roundabout manner, without really accepting or answering any of the accusations. But her this declaration ~ 'I am not ashamed of anything, not my past, not my affairs, not my body and most definitely not my desire' does say it all.
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