Coming from a small city ( guwahati ) myself, I can pretty much understand how Bollywood allures our minds since young, and beckons at us. Most of us ( in smaller towns and cities ), grow up hoping to become a hero or heroine of the silver screen some day, or be connected to Bollywood somehow. No wonder, scores of wannabes leave their homes and travel all the way to Bombay to fulfil their dreams. Bombay, hence, rightly called ~ the city of dreams ( maya-nagri ). When opportunity presented itself to me, I too packed my bags and baggages to come and live in this dream city. Only, in my case, I didn’t come outright to join Bollywood. My father was transferred to this city and I could hardly let this big opportunity go by.

I left my college in my home-town ( after my 11th ), and pursued my studies here. I was inclined to music and hoped someday my that particular dream would get fulfilled. But, I wasn’t overtly aggressive about achieving it. I was also told by many that I could join films or modelling, as I had the looks, but I wasn’t interested in all of that either. As my stay in Bombay, was not really like all others who leave their homes in pursuit of Bollywood. And initially though, I must admit, I was undoubtedly attracted to the glamour attached to the city. However, I grew up more like a Bombai-kaar gradually. After giving my 12th exams, then joining SNDT university, my life was like any other ordinary college student. As such, I could gradually see the fa├žade behind the over-hyped glamour too. And although, I loved the city tremendously, I didn’t have any obsession about being in Bollywood. Hence, though I did eventually complete my dream to make a music album ( after almost 2 decades of living in the city ), I was quite laid back about it, and un-ambitious to make a career out of it. Perhaps, that’s why my life is very different than a Kangana Ranaut, although, there are certain similarities too ( any guesses which ;-).

That brings me to the main topic of this post. Yea..yea...the topic was about Kangana and not me, lol.

So, we all know what's been going on since past few months with regards to the Hrithik and Kangana story. And to be frank, initially, I was more inclined to support her; because, I too know, from experience, how guys sometimes do all the pursuing at first, and then suddenly switch gears, completely denying the relationship. It can really hurt. And yes, many guys are that callous. I know a few myself. So, I was definitely on Kangana's side. Hrithik was all wrong, according to me. It was until, the police took a statement from her, wherein she allegedly said that her iphone fell in water, and so she threw it away. Come on, Kangana. Like really? I know you are rich and can buy hundreds of iphones, but that was the most silliest excuse I've ever heard. Then, of course, came the Adhayen Suman revelations and the world was shell-shocked.

Many has said that Adhyayen has done this for publicity. But somehow, I don't buy it. His revelations has let me think of the actress's life and her link-ups. And she had quite a few of them, most to married men too. She said during her National Award interview, that she was proud, she made it completely on her own. To that, I can't help but think of her affair with Aditya Pancholi, a man double her age, at the beginning of her career. No doubts, he helped her get contacts in the industry then. He apparently had financially helped her buy a house too, and was also footing her sister's acid-attack hospital bills ( as claimed by him, a fact, that Kangana didn't deny either ). The affair ( rumored abusive ) went wrong; but it happened, and neither party denied it too. Kangana, of course, left him in the end. But this relationship made me wonder, why she had to sleep with a married man in the first place? Also one, who was accused of having raped Pooja Bedi's maid at one point. Only thing I can understand from all of this is, Kangana simply used the man to gain a foothold in the industry ~ to survive. And if a girl can do this, she can do anything to get ahead.

Next, soon after, she had the Adhyayen romance episode. Of course, we know all the details now, but that time, we see that soon after her break-up with Adhyayen, she had another affair with Ajay Devgan ( a married man again ). It is rumoured, the affair was a strictly no-strings-attached one ( although, he recommended her in many of his films ). Ajay, however, dumped her when she became emotional, and cut-off all ties. Emotional??? Well, I'm sure Ajay Devgan too must be surely having some really interesting revelations to make. It'll make the curious case of Kangana so much clearer, what say? Or maybe the guy Nicholas, she had next.

Moving on to the 3rd married man - Hrithik. According to Adhyayen, she was eyeing him, even when she was with the former. That says a lot about the woman. Being attractive, I'm sure Hrithik must've fallen for her too. Or maybe NOT, as perhaps he ( later ) decided. But, whatever the case might be, after watching her two interviews ( in IndiaToday and NDTV ), I must say, she hasn't convinced me that she is innocent. That said, seeing her life, her alleged link-ups - I don't envy her. Rather, I pity her ~ that for success, one makes such compromises. There must be so many like her, who made similar journeys, but couldn't make it big, like she did. Her films of course, are a delight to watch. No wonder, she has so many fans and is rightly the highest paid actress. Its just that, I wish, she really had made it own her own without having to sleep around. Men too have numerous affairs. But, being a female, I expected more respectability.

Oh, the curious case of Kangana Ranaut stays 'curious'. She is proud to be a psychopath, whore and witch. At least, she is honest about that - although, in a roundabout manner, without really accepting or answering any of the accusations. But her this declaration ~ 'I am not ashamed of anything, not my past, not my affairs, not my body and most definitely not my desire' does say it all.
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‘ND, you are not normal. Trust me when I say this. You are not normal, period,’ my friend said with such intensity that I had to look at her with my mouth gaped wide open. Nobody had ever said this to me, so, it was something thrown at me out of the blue.
‘Why do you say that?’ I was curious. I had to know. How on earth could she say this to me! It was so astonishing; I just had to know why she thought that of me.

‘You think for yourself, you’ll know,’ my friend answered back; but not really quite answering, dammit!
‘How am I supposed to know, until you tell me that? Is it some type of joke or prank you’re playing on me?’ I’ll pester her till I get the answer, I decided. She can’t leave me hanging in-air, after making such a declaration on my whole being, my identity. ‘Tell me,’ I nearly thundered.
‘Okay okay…don’t get mad, I’ll tell you.’

I waited, as she paused…a long pause, nearly making me mad all over again.
‘Hmmm…where do I start?’ She looked at me, narrowing her eyebrows thoughtfully.

‘Why not at the beginning itself, like why and what made you think that, and come to such conclusion about me?’ I was getting really impatient now.

‘Well, you always told me how you like children, but, from a distance. That you’d never want to have a child of your own. Don’t you think it’s abnormal?’ My friend questioned me.

True, I had said that ( many times perhaps ) and I meant it too. I mean, children are cute, aren’t they, but only from far away and especially when they belong to others. And when they grow, they are just brats you can’t tolerate. What’s abnormal about it?! Duh! And, to become pregnant itself is such an ordeal, I always thought. Imagine, once you become a mother, your life isn’t your own any more. It’s dictated by this brat who decided to land from heaven and make your life hell with this or that demand 24x7. Hell no, I was normal enough not to want them at all. My life and freedom was too important for me. I don’t want horrible scars too in my body for life, giving birth to such brats. That was one of my biggest fear too. I had heard horrible stories of pain and scars one goes through at childbirth, something that had totally put me off the whole thing.

I didn’t realize, I was mumbling my barrage of thoughts aloud, for my friend had this smug 'I-knew-it' expression on her face.
‘See, I told you, you are not normal,’ she re-affirmed.

‘Okay fine,’ I said, giving up. ‘Till you can convince me with something that can alter my thoughts completely, I’ll prefer to remain abnormal. Forget kids being brats and demanding the hell out of you your entire life, I’ll tolerate that, because, I’ve been a somewhat demanding kid myself, and I’ll accept it as my Karma coming back at me; but, convince me that the nine months I’m pregnant will not be a hellish time too and that my body won’t have everlasting signs and marks of pain; and then, I promise, I’ll die to have one baby of my own, I swear.’ I was confident I wouldn’t have to keep such a promise, because, my friend won’t have a convincing answer to that. So, I waited, challenging.

‘ND, you can find an answer to that in my case itself. You saw me during my pregnancy time, did it look hellish experience to you? I was enjoying the whole time, getting pampered silly by my hubby dearest and the whole set of family and relatives. When I’d touch my womb those days, it used to be such a surreal yet powerful feeling, that God had chosen to gift me with such an incredible power of giving birth, of motherhood. That joy of being a mother ( that first time ), cannot be expressed in words, it can only be felt when one becomes a mother herself.’ Being a mother completes a woman's life.

I looked at my friend. She had a rare twinkle in her eyes as she recollected her pregnancy days. It’s true, I had seen her those days, and without a doubt, she was at her happiest and glowing self. Maybe, just because I hadn’t experienced it myself, I couldn’t really understand why or how a girl’s entire life changes, once she gets pregnant, yet she makes no complaints. Maybe, motherhood, is not really that bad an experience as I imagined it to be.

‘But but…’ my mind began prodding, ‘ what about the pain, especially the scars afterwards.’ I had to know about that, before I could completely shed my pregnancy related inhibitions.

‘Well, for that Bio Oil is the answer,’ my friend replied patiently. 'I had used the magical oil those pregnancy days especially after the delivery and not a scar remains. My husband could barely keep his hands off me even then. Its a must for all mums-to-be to remain #YummyMummy throughout pregnancy and afterwards. And know what, hubby and myself are planning another baby soon, and we can hardly wait to welcome the second one ~ our lovable little 'brat' as you call them.

Unbelievable, I thought, as I looked at my friend. She was beaming with happiness. Seeing her, I realized I was panicking about motherhood for no reason. Maybe, it was time to change my mind, and be a little 'normal' after all ;-)
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Winning post of Marico Bio Oil #YummyMummy contest in association with BA
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