I punched away frantically at the keys of my laptop. It was the cold month of February, and this month particularly made me very wary. February always brought along with it, many memories! Memories - that I'm not necessarily fond of. Memories, that I've been trying to run away from, quite unsuccessfully. The harder I run, the faster it chases me and catches up - teasing and taunting away unabashedly. It seems there's no escape from them. And the only way to divert my mind is by typing away insanely at my computer. Write stories, poems, scribble randomly - just make anything up - so long those treacherous memories do not dare to enter my mind. But still, they don't budge. They keep pestering me, mocking gleefully. Why? I ask again and again helplessly. I scream and shout at them - leave me alone! Will you ever leave me alone. Why those memories keep flooding in, when you're no more? Why!

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BRITISH AIRWAYS "Wake up beautiful," Sameer whispered in my ears. His voice was always so sexy, especially in the mornings. Even on phone, he could stir up feelings in me. I looked at the watch. It was around 9am, so it would be night at his place - I calculated.
"You're not sleeping yet?" I asked, enjoying the thought at the same time, that he remembered me.
"How can I sleep without you baby? I need you near me." He grumbled, but seductively. We've been away from each other for almost two years now. Work had taken him away to foreign shores. Our only communication was on phone or chat.
"I miss you so much," I couldn't stop myself from blurting out. It seemed a lifetime to be away from him.
"Hush! I miss you too my baby," he whispered again.
"Then when will you be back?" It was a question I asked him every time we spoke on phone.
"Hmmm..You want me to come back to India?" He asked.
"Of course, stop teasing me." Tears threatened to jut out of my eyes.
"Then look out of your window," Sameer said with a chuckle.

I jumped out of bed wondering what could be outside. I could not believe what I saw, when I parted the window drapes. It was Sameer, standing on the rain-washed sidewalk, looking up and waving. He looked as handsome as ever.
He had come all the way for me, I simply could not believe my eyes.
It was the best Valentines Gift that year.

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"Never stop living your life! Promise me." Sameer had said. I remembered every word of his. They were a painful reminder that he was no more around me. As he was leaving, to join work again; fate snatched him away from me cruely. It was the month of February, only a few days after we had celebrated Valentines Day.
"I've got only a few days break my dear. My boss will kill me if I don't return on time. That jerk, he wasn't even ready to give me a few days off, at first." Sameer laughed as he mimicked his snooty boss, snuggling under the covers with me. "I wanted to say, I'll kill you if you don't let me go to my sweetheart. I might have even done that too for my precious one."

We giggled over that and made love that night. Every moment was so precious.
Just as I was returning after seeing him off, I heard the terrible news on the radio. The Boeing air-crash. It had Sameer in it. With him gone, my whole world collapsed.

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BRITISH AIRWAYS

I hate February since then, because its the month I lost my love. February keeps mocking me with memories, that fate wins after all! And we're helpless before it.

I remembered Sameer's last words once again. Never Stop Living Your Life - as though he was aware of his own fate and knew that I'll loose the jest to live my life without him. He'd hate to see me like this - a total wreck without him. No, I won't brood and sulk anymore; I wiped my tears slowly. He may not be physically with me, but I know he'd be around keeping a watch over me.
He had wanted me to go to Great Britain some day, where he was posted. We had lots of plans together as #MrAndMrs. Maybe I should visit and go close to where he spent his last days and find a closure.
Yes, for love, I'd go that far...

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Show your love to those who love you lots. But if they are no more with you, Never stop living your life! Shower yourself with all the love you can ~

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