Define good girls... Everybody has an opinion about a good girl...so whats yours? #GoodGirls. This is an old article I'm sharing, it may or may not be fully relevant to the current topic; but, I think it is of interest nevertheless.
Changes in Modern Indian Women!
Indian Girls and New Modern values - Negative or Positive?
Lets look at some cases below and judge for ourselves how much is true and how much is just paranoia!
DISCLAIMER : This article was written after observing only "some" opinion of few "modern" Indian men only, hence, it does not represent all men's thinking.
1: Girls are weak and inferior to men - claims the menfolk. How can woman be superior when a women gives up work after marriage, and even if they continue working they earn much less than men except a few. How can they want a husband earning much more than what they earn? In that case they are not superior unless they earn as much or more than men. Moreover after marriage women move to her husband's house and expect half share of the property or assets in their name. Why can't they buy and own property or assets on their own with their money? So, if they are dependent on men then they are certainly not superior argues the men and will always be treated as a door mate.
Well, after marriage a woman leaves her parents home and her husband's home becomes her home and denying access to it is certainly a domestic violence. Where will she go otherwise? And marriage is starting a family so there can't be competition as to who is superior. Marriage is a process of adjustments and compromises. If a women does not work after marriage or earns less that does not make her inferior, considering the fact that she does the most important task of giving birth and bringing up the children. As a mother, she spends considerable amount of time in her child's growth, that's an undeniable fact.
2: Women are physically weak than men - They can't run fast enough, giving examples of sprint athletes or they can't do the physical tasks which men can do, is another claim which can be rubbished straightway. For starters, women give birth to the men's off-springs. Giving birth is the most painful job in this world, which a women does. One who can bear the labour pains can bear almost any pain in this world. And not to forget that a woman carries the child inside her womb for 9 months. So, all the nutrients and blood which runs in a men's body is because of a woman. Nature has empowered her with this strongest and beautiful gift. Now why she doesn't run as fast as men? According to statistics, women is behind men just by a few seconds. Look at the height and physical structure of a man and that of a woman. If a woman inspite of a smaller body structure and lower testosterone levels compared to men, manages to be behind men by just 2-3 seconds, then, it is more than enough to prove that she is as good as men if not better; inspite of the disadvantage that she has. Have a look at construction sites, where one can find hordes of women doing all types of menial work like carrying bricks or other heavy material like any other men. So, how can women be called weak? If she was weak she would not be able to do these kinda jobs. The very fact that she is able to do everything efficiently makes the claim invalid.
3: Girls don't want to cook or do domestic jobs - Modernisation has made Indian girls increasingly become less interested in domestic values and household works, feels the Indian men of today.Though it may not be entirely true, it cannot be totally denied either that there could be some elements of truth in it.
Often increasingly relying on a domestic maid for help which is quite common in urban cities, the trend is also seen growing gradually in the smaller towns as well. Especially, more so in cooking department these days, which has been till date regarded in most Indian homes as a girl's must know job or as the most essential requirement for matrimony. While in rest of world burden of cooking is equally shared by both men and women, in most of India it is still being considered till now that - 'a way to man's heart is through his stomach' and the woman being fiercely protective about her role in her kitchen and unwilling to share her exclusive domain with anyone and certainly not with another female.
However, that is fast changing with more and more urban woman keeping a bai (domestic help) to cook for the family. And with more and more restaurants and fast food joints cropping up everywhere, the young girls too have begun ignoring and not wanting to learn cooking themselves and showing disinterest for the same.
"A girl is not a girl if she doesnot know cooking," says a very orthodox conservative man, who is in return taunted by the girls as an MCP. Girl must know to cook, if she wants to cook that is.
Is it related to modernisation with more and more women getting empowered? We will let the readers decide.
4: Girls are getting greedy - Yet another accusation by the menfolk. While opposing against dowry on one side, they (the girls) have no hesitancy in including in their matrimonial advt an essential "requirement" very common these days - expecting their prospective groom to be 50K or more income earner. This, the men feels is no different than a dowry demand. However, the prime difference is that a matrimonial advt is merely putting out an expectation in a virtual profile, where the boy and girl have not yet met and anyone not approving of it can easily ignore it; while a dowry demand is usually demanded after a marriage is fixed, and can be quite a harassement if the demands are not met.
5: Girls envy other girls - A recent study says girls put on make up, fashionable clothes not to impress men as much as to make other girls jealous. It is a universal fact that women does envy one another, but, they can be the best gossiping partners of one another as well. In kitty parties, often the discussion between girls is about the other girls - "what she wore to that party", "oh that dress" etc. The main pointer being - "Hope she is not looking as pretty as me"! and many of these gossips can be in negative way too which is also known as "bitching", mainly intended to put the other female down or make fun of! There's a common joke making rounds in the internet "if the world was ruled by women, then we won't have any wars but we would have just a couple of jealous countries not talking to each other"
6: Girls wastes resources - In another recent survey, it is projected that every one in three girls leave the shower on while shaving their legs, which leads to around 50 billion tones of water wastage everyday globally. The men folk are quick to point that women are acronym at wasting resources. However, how was this survey done to reach this conclusion would be an interesting find and certainly debatable! And also the statistic, how much water men waste when they shave, right?
7: Girls are becoming shameless - It started with the Bold Pooja Bhatt getting her nude body painted and posing for the cameras in the early 90's ( ah, we did have a skimpily dressed Nargis or Zeenat too, in the past ). Since that time, more and more girls have jumped on the "getting nude" or "getting topless" bandwagon for quick publicity. Likes of Rakhi Sawant who shamelessly hogs the media. While she has not gone completely nude yet, many of her contemporaries every other day claim on any event worthy of media coverage their willingness to go naked or strip! Be is Poonam Pandey during World Cup to the marathy lass who actually posed topless and got her body painted with the tri colour during the ongoing Anna movement protests. Thankfully, this trend is still till now restricted only to the glamour industry and has not touched the lives of real, normal people yet...but it does leave a negative impact and keep us wondering as to where the shame and dignity of the girls has vanished these days; with their skirt hemlines shrinking day by day, and spaghetti straps or transparent tops often displaying the bra inside increasingly becoming a trend! Or are they simply following the "If you got it flaunt it" funda religiously? Whatever be the case we have to admit this not a trend that calls for respect of these women! Sure its their lives to do what they want, but in a society your personal conduct and way of dressing does speak a lot about your character.
Sure boys love to take these girls on a date too, but when it comes to marriage its found that they prefer homely girls, and go for the simpler, sober and decent ones ( preferring virgins mostly ) and such bold girls often get dumped in the process. The boys maybe bit hypocrites here, but isn't is better for the girls to be careful too?
These type of girls often end up as single mother or may have had abortion at some point of their lives due to their erratic lifestyle.
8: Girls avoids solving problems - Another accusation which can be termed as hilarious if not weird is that, a man atleast try to solve a problem and generally succeeds in doing so, whereas a woman avoids solving any problem altogether, and runs away from the situation or wants someone else to solve it for them. This can be regarded as highly chauvinistic view with very little or no truth in it. Maybe, while in their teens or early twenties some girls may have been a bit air-headed and tried to take the escape route in tough matters, but, same can be said about boys too. However, once age and maturity sets in, then we have seen women in tough situations, facing, handling and solving problems on their own as well quite remarkably. So, this claim can be rightfully rubbished.
9: Girls misleads and misguides boys - 'Shame on girls for using DP of actresses and models and misguiding guys!' exclaimed a boy quite chauvinist in nature otherwise. Now, why do girls do that? Yes, many do that specially in their online profiles mostly due to privacy issue as well as to protect themselves from their photographs being misused, which happens quite often. Now to blame just girls is quite ridiculous as we find boys doing exactly the same. Many times boys too keep pictures of actors, models, musicians or sport-stars in their DPs too, so, just blaming girls is quite immatured. Moreover, its never compulsory to keep one's original picture in any social networking site, so its a dead issue right away. Boys go one step further when they make female profiles with female DPs. Trust me, that happens more often and its a more misguiding and a shameful act.
10: Girls are poisonous - Some more interesting accusations. Girls are more poisonous than snakes. Snakes kills immediately. Girls kill you daily.
11: Girls fake their past - In a survey, 1000 boys and 1000 girls were asked - ' Did you have sex?' ~ 90%boys answered 'yes'. 90%girls answered 'no'. So, whom did those 90% boys have sex with? Girls feel uncomfortable admitting that they had a past, and its often due to stigma of rejection, or character assassination or maybe simply a case of Point no.7!
12: Girls don't want to marry boys earning less than them - "Would guys mind accepting women who earns more than them?" asks our chauvinist protaganist, quoting his exact words "When men have started accepting gals of similar degrees, why the hell would there be issue of variation of a salary.. and you can always increase salaries by switching companies.... salary upar neeche hoti rehti hai." "Most Men Cannot Accept A Woman Who Makes More Money," some shameless gals give this reason for not accepting guys with lesser salary"
He gets some interesting replies from fellow men as quoted below:
yar itni mahanghai hai, aur family k liye dono ka kamana jaruri hai, chahe kitna b koi kamaaye
Everything depends upon the person. There are several reasons and factors which makes one to take such decision. For e.g one may be living with his parents who are quite old and have some health problems. The person thus may end up marrying a girl who is not willing to take up job and is much happy with contributing for household chores and similar stuffs. And of course, there are other factors like egos may conflict, kind of society you live in, the family culture, etc. So, one takes decision as per what matters him most. A combination of factors, may be.
"How does income matters if the chemistry matches." Ending on a positive and optimistic note that not all men think the same way thankfully!
Opinions compiled here are views of few Indian men of today, with my inputs! This article is not in anyway intended to demean women, rather its just a frank analysis of how certain men increasingly feel about the changes in modern Indian women!
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