| ..¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸ Ah the rain is here! While the little tinkling droplets of rain splatter the rooftop, the humming of the cuckoo birds and the cool breezy wind brushing your face. Have you ever tried walking in the rain especially with a loved one? The feeling is unexplainable and the love that blooms during monsoon has no words to substitute the feeling. Rains can make your heart go romantic. So go ahead, hold your sweetheart’s hand and walk in the rain while the clouds play cupid. Do you have any such experiences about the monsoon that you want to share with us?
I stared at the above 'words' displayed in one of my favourite social networking site, for several minutes. I read and re-read the paragraph on Monsoon for days. It was a contest asking me about my experience 'romantic' in this monsoon season. If only they knew, how reading those mere words, tugged the strings of my heart so deep; and painfully. Monsoon means so many different things to different people. For me, it brings nothing but heart-wrenching pain. The cloudy skies, the storm and the downpour, can bring a flood of a different kind altogether - the flood of memories; as it was doing to me now. I looked out of the window, and the sight outside was glaringly similar to what I felt slowly trickling down the corners of my eyes. Tears. Monsoon, brings pain to me; a pain so overwhelmingly deep, unbearably gnawing ~ I wonder, if any physical injury could cause as much pain as emotional pain, the Monsoon does ~ of heart-break.
It was around the same time last year, that I saw him walking out of my house ( once ours ) and my life. I stared helplessly out of the window, as I saw his silhouette figure fading away in the heavy curtain of the monsoon rains. I wanted to call out to him to stop, to look back and come rushing into my arms again; and never let me go. But, something held me back. I stood frozen, as the world around me collapsed. I had to let him go, for his own happiness I dwelled. I was shattered though. The heavy downpour that day, mirrored the downpour of my eyes i.e my tears. As though the flood-gates of the dams itself had opened, I was left crying with the love of my life gone forever. I howled inconsolably. But there was no one to comfort me. The rains stopped at intervals, but my tears didn't. I was left all alone to pick up the pieces of my crushed life, and trying to move on. But was it simple? No...it wasn't.
Every shower outside, made my eyes shower. Every thunderstorm outside, created havoc within my inner-self. I tried telling myself - 'whatever happens, happens for the best.' But does it? Why falling in love was so easy, but breaking up so hard? Why couldn't life be simple and not complicated? Why such emotions exist, that can't be shunned away? The clocked ticked away, with the days simply going by; without me living them truly. Gloomy days turned into long dragging nights and then into day of the blues again; the cycle repeated monotonously. I breathed, but didn't live. I was as good as dead. I wanted to find closure to the ordeal I was in, but couldn't. After being with someone for four years together, it was hard to live life anew alone. Each piece of furniture in the house reminded me of him, the times we shared; the laughter and the love. The house that once used to echo with his laughter, was now eerily silent. The only noise that came, was from the rains lashing outside; pounding the roofs of the empty hollow house, and my heart. How simple it was for him - to just simply walk away, without even a backward glance. Yet, for me its been so hard nearly impossible.
I looked out of the window everyday, hoping for a miracle. That maybe he'd have a change of heart and return. But, only the rains answered back, teasing and taunting me to give up. That he'll never come. I wanted to defeat the rains; scream at them that they were wrong ~ but alas, in the end only the rains won. Its been a daily battle, and I'm left to wallow in self-pity.
~~~
With a sigh, I have a last look out of the window for the evening. With the sun-setting, it was turn of the long dragging night to take over. As I turned, I noticed from corner of my eye, a silhouette moving behind the curtains of the rains. Curious, I strained my eyes to look at the hazy entity of the dark; my vision greatly blurred by the rain gushed twilight of the evening. Just then, a lightning striked in the cloudy skies above and I saw him. I could not believe my eyes, but the sudden flash of light had illuminated his silhouetted frame. I blinked and blinked again. It was impossible, but yet it was true. I had defeated the mocking rains at last. He was standing there, rain drenched; arms stretched out ~ calling out to me.
As though I had wings in my feet, I flew down the stairs until I was in front of him, facing him. Gasping ~ for breath; for words to come out of my mouth. Another lightning, and I could see his face clearly. His glistening eyes starred deeply at mine. Were they tears in them, I saw? Crushed into his arms the next moment, words were no longer needed. And we cried. Cried, because we both had felt the pain of being apart. Cried, because we were happy to be together again. Yes, that monsoon had separated us and this monsoon united us forever....
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