Sex has become frivolous,
People have turned promiscuous,
In the name of modernity
They've lost their morality,
True, sex has been there since the beginning,
Else, we wouldn't be existing,
But is it right to randomly go fucking about,
Doesn't our body deserve our little respect?
Some call it animal instinct, some inherent genes,
While we agree to that whole-heartedly,
Doesn't unsafe sex too spread diseases ultimately?
Shouldn't we value relations more,
and not just go fucking galore!

Due to nature of the topic, I'm using the 'F' word so blatantly! Well, one might have already gotten my stand on this hot topic of 'Yes or No to pre-marital Sex' by Poonam Uppal in connection to her latest book's promotion. The debate broke out and how, in the IB forum, with everyone almost coming into virtual blows with one another - with their extreme contrasting views on the topic. If one sided blasted the other for being too westernised or being 'cool' about pre-marital sex, they were blasted upon in return for following age-old myths/dogmas. "What is Indian culture? Sanskaar - they are all but myths!" - someone shouted, who in turn was shouted upon to shut-up and told, "they'll follow whatever they want." Chaos right? Some assumed, the book endorses pre-marital sex and their views would be judged upon that. I must confess, at first I assumed the same, until I saw the poster below. Talk about judging a book by its cover :| ( the book infact, I'm told, talks the opposite - I'm curious to read it ). Some said, why discuss this topic at all - and they ended up posting the most ;-) I did butt in a bit too, but preferred to write the rest on my blog instead. So, here's my views on the controversial topic :-)


Well, let me start off first by saying - Somebody else's sex life is None of my Business! I'm a free spirit and much as I dislike someone else preaching to me, I expect them to feel the same way too. So, I don't try to force my opinion on others. But my opinions, however, do exist! And I may express it - freedom of expression, you see ;-) Its entirely up to the recipient how he/she takes in my opinion.

I grew up in a small city, but ah - don't think smaller cities are that innocent. Infact, most of my school mates started having their boyfriends in their early teens itself and some of them 'experimented' quite early on too ( I'll narrate few of those incidents and their after-effects below ). However, at home things were quite strict. No Story Books, no Television and no Friends too ( and boyfriends? well, don't even dare to think about that ) - yeah, everything were frowned upon; though we did manage to break those rules every now and then. When my father would be out on tours, we'd watch TV. Our mother was little lenient, but if two actors were close to even kissing on the screen she'd instantly appear out of nowhere in front of the TV and block the view. Thus, curious me, I looked elsewhere for knowledge on the birds and bees - which one of my friend explained to me one day ( I was in class 9 then ). I was astonished at the details she knew, and literally turned red-faced with embarrassement.

Some fleeting Gyaan, I did get earlier on as well via various incidents :

  • For example. My sister ( four years older than me ) had this friend about whom she'd often talk at home. The girl was very pretty and was having an affair with the auto-wala who was employed by her parents to take her to/bring back from school. Being an affluent family, they of course were furious when they learnt of their daughter's pregnancy at hardly 15 years of age, that too by the auto-wala. Then one day, the girl eloped with her lover. Many years later we came to know, they had even separated due to the vast differences in both their lifestyles and the girl regretted her affair totally.
    ( this incident reminds me of Arushi murder case, whereupon the young girl was alleged to having a relationship with their house-servant. The matter is subjudice, hence, I won't comment further, but such incidents do occur and frequently too )

  • In another incident, my own class-mate was involved. However, it ended tragically as the boy simply refused to own up the responsibility after making her pregnant. She committed suicide. She was barely 14-15 yrs then. What a waste of a beautiful life!
    ( this incident reminds me of actress Jiah Khan's suicide or was it murder? )

  • I know another classmate who was going around with this particular boy, since class 7 i.e 13 years age. They had pretty much done everything too, and nobody expected they'd ever break up. In HLSC, the girl wasn't able to pass even after 4-5 attempts, which finally drifted them apart - as the boy got embarrassed at her failing all exams. The girl went into depression, and much later married someone else.
    ( this incident reminds me of the movie Kya Kehna starring Preity Zinta where the story was about pre-marital sex and how the boy leaves the girl to face the consequences )

  • Another school friend of mine had this very intimate relationship, she'd boast of everyday. Her parents came to know of it, and forbade her. Infact, her mother started following her around like a shadow. At first, the girl rebelled her parents citing 'true-love' etc etc, but in due course realized and repented her folly.

  • There was another of my neighbour ( 1 year older than me ), who had multiple boyfriends. Every time she claimed it was serious ( yes, she confessed being physical too ), and after some time she'd be with someone else. People lost count of the number of different boys who would come to drop her at odd hours. No guessing, she earned quite a name in the neighbourhood as being promiscuous.

  • In a more recent incident, I was left appalled and disgusted when a girl ( yes, a girl! much younger than me ) tried making a pass at me, at a certain resort - indicating in her own words so casually - "aaj kal kuch bhi ho sakta hai ( anything can happen these days )"! No prize for guessing, I run at the sight of her.

    When I see above examples, somehow, I'm glad that my parents were strict. I think, certain 'dogmas' if meant for your own 'good', then it must be encouraged and there's nothing wrong in that. I grew up respecting my body and thus, would never let anyone use or misuse it. When I grew up, I did become bit of a rebel too - like wanting to and then going on to living an independent life for real. And even though I had all the freedom to do whatever I wanted, certain values stayed with me and kept me grounded and protected throughout. I'm glad, I never gave in to moments of weakness in any of those 'crushes' I had. Oh..yes, I had many crushes. But, when it came to my body - I preferred to be very careful about it. Many dates didn't culminate into 'something' further, because I put my foot down against any reckless irresponsible 'sex'. Infact, I made sure if I dated anyone, I never got drunk or anything like that ever - which might lead to the other having an advantage over me. Yesh, I'm that careful to the point of being paranoid, lol. Because, what I see happening around me disturbs me a lot :s
    Now, when I see/meet those people I had 'crush' on, I'm like YIKES! Did I actually like this person? Thank heavens, I did no hanky-panky in the spur of the moment! Phew!

    I don't understand how people indulge in one-night-stands, without even meeting that person they slept with the next morning or ever again. Then, there are those who experiment with 'prostitutes' too and God knows what diseases they carry back with them. Relations too loose their meaning, if one is not faithful to one partner and keep changing, as though one changes their clothes. If one is not faithful in one relationship, whats the guarantee that they'll be faithful in the next, or the next? Marriage alone do not guarantee faithfulness either. Our mythologies has many instances of pre-marital sex, but does that make them right? Well, I am no one to say that. Current times are strange times too, when people want to loose virginity asap just cos' other people will think they're not cool enough! What shit is that? I may shake my head dis-approvingly, cringe, show my disgust at the declining moral values of individuals etc - as long as I'm not causing any harm to anyone, I have full right to my opinions and look down upon pre-marital, as much as others have the rights indulging in it. Anyway, I feel, everything ultimately comes down to respecting oneself; their own body! Rest will follow :-)

    PRE-MARITAL SEX LoveDivaPoonaam

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    This post is part of Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart in association with Indiblogger ( Images - IB/PU )
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    1. a simple Wow. Great attempt very statistically told and with a strong message. kudos.

    2. I don't know if I should comment because my views are totally opposite!! When two people are matured enough and are deeply in love, I don't think sex is wrong. I don't support lust, but I do support love.

      1. thanks for sharing your views...everyone has full right to their opinions :-)


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