I know, it’s been a while since I updated you. I know it’s my fault, I’ve been avoiding you; unlike old times when I used to share my thoughts regularly with you. You were the only friend with whom I’ve shared my deepest secrets. Yet, I admit, I’m very guilty too. Yes, I’m guilty of hiding something very important from you ~ of not confiding in you as I should have, all those years ago. Writing a diary is meaningless if I keep secrets from you, isn't it? So, here am I today, filling those empty pages, that I skipped.
Well, there are two infact. First one happened many years ago, and the 2nd more recently. But both are related. Oh, it’s so embarrassing to recall those memories, but anyway, let’s get on with it; else, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.
Dear Diary, do you remember the first time I wrote in you I wasn’t really clear with my scribblings? Well, it’s because I was hiding my first love from you. Yes, I was madly, deeply, insanely in love then ~ with him. I still blush when I remember that phase of my life. We had just moved into the neighbourhood. My eyes met his and I melted in my knees. He looked so smart; he was the hero of their group and I was in total awe with him. We all used to play together and when we used to play ‘chase chase’, I only chased him, forgetting the others. One day, when I was sitting with his sister on the steps of our house, I pointed towards his house ( opposite ours ) and said shamelessly, that I’ll live in that house in future very soon. His sister asked how – and I replied, by marrying her brother. Of course, his sister was surprised, because he was 10 and I was only 5. Well, my feelings were true, so age didn’t matter for me. I wanted to marry him right then. My parents came to know about it ( thanks to his sister who spread the news everywhere like a loud mouth :| ) and fearing their objections I decided to wait a while.
Many summers came and went, we moved houses too. But somewhere in my heart, he still resided as though imprinted forever and I hoped to meet him again someday. It was true love after all. I refused and rejected many proposals from other good looking boys during my growing up years, all because I wanted to keep my commitment to him.
Ah, Dear Diary…how do I tell you this! After many years, my wait was finally over too. Was I lucky or what! Or maybe not. One day a voice called me from behind. I looked around and a stranger was standing in front of me. I didn’t recognize him at all. Who was he, I wondered. He had a thick beard and his face was barely visible. He smelt too, a sweaty kinda unclean smell. I disliked the person at first glance itself and wanted to run away. But I was in for a shock. Because, he then told me who he was and reminded me what I had said all those years ago. He said, his house was still open for me and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Dear Diary, this was a news I was longing to hear all those years with bated breath. But this ugly, unshaven person telling me that he was my lost love was the last thing I had ever dreamt of! I could not bear the pain of it. I wanted to run fast and away as soon as I could. And I did. I told him, I didn’t remember any one by that name and whatever happened in childhood can never be taken seriously.
My whole world had collapsed, Dear Diary. That’s the reason I couldn’t bring myself to write these two torturous incidents of my life. I wanted those pages to remain empty forever, and forgotten. So having confided in you now, I’ll tear off these pages again. Hope you forgive me, but I really don’t want to be reminded of that unshaved man again. Aaargh…why don’t men just shave?
Theme - An instance when a stubble came in the way of a man's chance to make a good impression.
( Images - Google )
Stay Connected & Follow my Updates on the blog's GFC | GOOGLE+ | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | NETWORKEDBLOGS