People conveniently ignore a girl in distress or an accident victim on the road, but would enthusiastically march with candles in hand for a cause. Why? ( This post is part of Indispire )

This is a very good topic. Often I wondered the same. Are those doing candle-marches after every rape news, even genuine? Are they really concerned or are they present in those protests just cos' its cool to be there, as everyone is doing it, and it comes in news etc. Not just rape/molestation news, these days candle marches seems to be in fashion for every occasion. You'll find candle-march for every tiny news, which makes it more like a joke.

But the question is, were these candle-marchers "the ones" who were present at the crime scene; those who could've save the victim? Maybe yes, maybe not. Yes, there are legal complications too, why people generally are hesitant to help in such cases. And we can't really generalize for all, because in that crowd there may be some who truely care too, and some who is just there to hog the limelight. In anycase, do these candle marches stop the crime? Yes, it may highlight the issue/problem for a certain period, sometimes strong mass-protest may even result in the government bringing in tougher laws too ( a positive outcome, I guess ); but will it really bring change in the society if people don't change themselves?

I always said, men-folk need to be taught to respect the female species right from early childhood, and I mean really early and consistent teaching. In a country like India, men are generally made to feel superior than female, that they can get away with anything ( starting with preference for boy-child and their pampering done by the women themselves ). When I was in school, I used to face lot of eve-teasing by neighbourhood boys. That's the most sickening experience to have, and when I think back ~ I can only blame the upbringing those boys had. Because, they were young too ( college going). Had their parents strictly taught them to respect the fairer gender, maybe they wouldn't have the guts. I had once gone up to one of the boy's house to complain to his parents, and only then they scolded him. But every girl donot go and complain like I did. I had to face the consequence too, because though that boy stopped, his friends had got louder in the eve-teasing. Kinda revenge, I guess. And one can really feel scared/helpless in such situation.

I'm glad now eve-teasing is a punishable offence ( it wasn't then ) and I hope actions are taken as soon as complaints are registered. But, back to the same question - why eve-tease at all ( it leads to bigger crimes like rape etc ). So, only if there is a change in the 'root', then we can expect a change and erase the menace effectively ~ till then this might remain just another topic and more of such candle-marches and we left wondering if they are genuine. Sigh!

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  1. I totally agree that guys need to be trained and told that eve teasing is not ok but this girl in distress scenario is always tricky. I have seen girls backing out when it comes to vouching for those who stood up for them and that is when the good people back off and wash their hands of such problems and prefer to watch and ignore than get involved.

  2. I spent a few hours in Police station for helping a girl in distress.. only to be accused that it was ME who was wrong ..

    just because I stopped my car at a corner where a guy was slapping a girl and I walked in to help her..

    it turned out the GUY was actually her Boyfriend and NOW she thought I should not have interfered. it was ok for him to slap here in public on the roadside..

    makes me think will i do the same again ... STILL thinking but 99% I am sure at least in india it will be a big "NO"

  3. I am not a fan of candle-marches, but I guess most people in such marches have good intentions. Of course, some are there, as you say, only because it's 'cool', while a few boys/men go there because there'll be many girls/women at the march.

    Most of us ignore a girl in distress or an accident victim on the road for a variety of reasons. Bikram has explained one possibility in his comment here. I've explained another possibility in my post


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