I saw her, laughing and chatting with her co-passengers, looking radiant exactly as I had seen in her pictures, and, I instantly knew, if she was here, he'd not be far - he was somewhere in the train coach too although I hadn't spotted him yet; but, with every second as my emotions got suddenly stirred by the very thought of him I knew I had to see him, just once - no, I no longer felt anything for him, not after knowing he had married ( and also had children ), but the yearn was still there just to see him once.
We had parted ways almost three dacades back, but, I was always his first choice his high school love - and I was unknowingly possessive of that fact; I was the one whom he had madly chased for months on end, I was the one whom he had first proclaimed his feelings for and made his vows to - no, we were not married, but, he had still vowed to be by my side always yet, it was me who had thrown it all away; and, it was because I left that she had entered his life - so, I'd always be someone special for him, and he, for me.
But, don't get me wrong, I no longer want him in my life - not in that way anyway; it was just a fleeting feeling creeping up inside something I could not describe... I just wanted to see him close, once - see how he looked or had become after so many years; also, the fact that I knew he was present in the train, the yearn only grew so I started looking for him, went to where his wife was sitting, in their compartment - but, he wasn't there.
I decided to wait till we got to our destination and it was when I finally saw him from a distance as he unloaded their luggage with his wife still chatting excitedly by his side she was lovely ~ no wonder they were still married...I could have been in her place if I hadn't let him go... was it a little 'envy' that I felt...maybe, but I knew it was just a passing feeling...not something I really wanted cos' I was in a happy space of life too; but still, I had to see him...and perhaps, just say a hello...after all we did have so many memories together...those that can never be erased, those that made us into what we had become.
I looked through the bushes, as I observed them sitting on few benches near the platform perhaps waiting for their cab, an unusual string tugging at my heart as I saw him look into his mobile, patiently hearing his wife's chatter too simultaneously, while also occasionally nodding at his other co-passengers who were travelling with him... and, merely looking at him stirred so many feelings in me... he had gained weight and looked quite different, no longer the boy I knew, he was a grown man now, with responsibilites; I knew this was my only chance, to walk up to him for we may never meet again.
I saw him briefly walking away from the others talking to someone on phone, and, I rushed... this was it, I thought..I had to go up to him now and so I went hurriedly to the trees where he was standing against, close..closer...something caught his attention as I approached and he looked towards his group; I was standing nearly in front of him now, with just a tree-branch separating us, the rustle of the leaves though made him look back in a startle...and then, he saw me ~ he froze as our eyes met...'tumi' he barely whispered... questioned... thousands of memories shed eons ago, came flooding back.
No comments:
Post a Comment
This Blog Appreciates Precious Comments from all except Copycats!